Among the various characteristics of ADHD, emotional dysregulation is the most common, but underestimated symptom. Children with ADHD experience their emotions with much greater frequency and intensity than their peers. These overwhelming emotions often result in big, exaggerated overreactions, such as intense outbursts and mood swings. Unfortunately, children with ADHD may also have more difficulty self-regulating to calm themselves under stress.
Because emotional dysregulation can be disruptive to all areas of life--family, relationships, school, and work--early intervention is critical in order to develop emotional resilience throughout life. A lack of intervention can contribute to low self-esteem, social difficulties, and mental health issues.
For kids with ADHD, teaching coping strategies "in the moment" simply does not work. When our children are experiencing meltdowns and intense feelings, their nervous systems are in fight-or-flight (survival) mode, making learning and accessing strategies impossible. The best defense is practicing proactive and positive strategies.
Gratitude and mindfulness are two effective practices that teach self-regulation skills proactively. They cultivate feel-good emotions which greatly contribute to motivation and persistence.
Gratitude can support us during emotional (over)reactions and build emotional resilience. When we are thankful for what we have, we are less prone to seeking out the next best thing. Practice giving thanks everyday with your child. Make it a family ritual to discuss 3 things you are most grateful for every day. Make a gratitude jar, filled with notes of gratitude and how these made your child feel. This gives your child something tangible to reference and serves as a visual reminder of the positives in their lives.
Research shows that mindfulness benefits everything from stress and anxiety to mood disorders, sometimes after as little as a week of practice. Mindfulness is the act of paying attention to the present moment without judgment--noticing smells, sounds, and textures during a walk or while playing outside, for example. Slow down during your next meal and really pay attention to the texture, appearance, taste of the food you're eating. There are plenty of helpful guided meditation apps or videos online to help guide you through meditation or mindfulness.
Experiment with different ways to incorporate gratitude and mindfulness into your and your child’s life and build emotional control. You’ll continue to have both positive and negative experiences, but as you find it easier to regulate yourself and manage your stress, you and your child will live lives more fully present and experience joy and wellbeing.
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